Problem: Astronomical anxiety about not being prepared enough to present research and project development thus far to cohort and colleagues.
My proposed solution: presenting to a small group.
Anya's solution: bump up the presentation date by three days with 90 minutes' notice.
Results:
1. No time to question decisions; all presentation decisions were made and executed with little development between the two.
2. No time to create new material.
3. Completely unrealistic expectations led to overload of anxiety fuse: tripped the breaker.
4. Frustration with lack of ability to prepare adequately* (*in my opinion) => it felt pointless to be invested in a 'final' product in which I had little confidence; divorced opinion about work from opinion about self.
Effects:
1. There was only minor appreciable compromise of production quality.
2. No half-assed elements were present in presentation.
3. Short-circuit of anxiety fuse led to an unexpected serenity when presenting. I felt like I was clear, concise, and comprehensive; the high value and relevance of the critics' feedback seems to reflect my perception.
4. I hate Anya for being so very right about changing the date on me. Also I love her.
Moving forward:
How can I short-circuit the anxiety fuse to begin with? It never drives productivity, efficiency, or creativity in ways that are actually helpful.
How can I better balance my time between big moves - design, presentation, layout - and fine-tuning? I suspect I need an objective standard up against which I can hold up my work. Does such a thing exist? Can I create it?
Never forget: I could always bag architecture school in favor of being a waitress instead. Although after this project, I don't think I want waitress to be my backup career choice any more: I want to be a librarian. Or a rocket scientist. You know, something less stressful.
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